Friday, February 8, 2013

Then and Now

Truckee, CA 1986
It seems that all we ever hear is folks wishing for the good old days.  When looking back on fond memories, the present never seems to be able to live up to the past.  Experiences of today seem to pale in comparison.  I remember when....

I'm going to ask you to reconsider these statements and instead, look forward to the future that includes technological marvels such as botox, cosmetic surgery, orthodontia, designer clothing, Mac makeup and lest we forget, Photoshop.

Let's take a look at the above photograph on a case by case basis starting at the left:

Here I am pregnant with Jessica.  I get a little leeway there accounting for the massively swollen face, fingers, ankles, toes; a look that has me right up there with Lance Armstrong getting tested for steroid use.  And what exactly is up with the outfit?  The t-shirt came in a pack from a maternity store.  It was one of those two for twenty bucks specials, its only redeeming quality is that it was extra large.  The shorts are of a draw string variety, the string rapidly running out of room.  The slip-on sandals were the only shoes I could wear anymore due to the swelling.

Next up, Wendy.  Little Wendy gets a free pass because she's young.  When you're that young you can get away with wearing any kind of dorky print top.  At least the red shorts somewhat tie in with the red pattern on the shirt.  I'm still trying to figure out what the print is.  Are they flowers or spaceships?  The world may never know.  Her hair pretty much looks the same as it does today, and that's a good thing because at least she still has all of it.  But she loses several points for the bobby socks.  The smile, or lack of smile, is to hide her braces.

John is not looking too bad here.  Dominique and I dragged him down to the mall and bought him this outfit to go with his leather man-bag which he lost in the mall.  It contained all his life savings and credit cards.  The hair color?  I'm not sure what kind of comment to make but again, at least he has hair.

Dominique, or Nikki as she was called in those days, decided to play it safe with her outfit.  You can't go wrong with a solid red shirt.  The drop scoop neck adds a pleasing line.  The jeans are still in fashion today - in this way the outfit is timeless.  But the shoes.  Nikki, you can't wear supportive shoes with white socks if your jeans are going to be floodwater length.  Now let's check out the hair.  The great thing about Nikki is that she had a wild mane of hair that refused to be tamed.  It was just like a weed.  Cut it and it grows back faster and stronger.  John payed her an undisclosed amount of money one time to cut it short like a boy.  He always wanted a boy.

Second to last, here's Jessica inside Mommy's tummy sleeping contentedly, looking fashionable in her birthday suit.

And lastly, there's Angela, a mere glint in her Daddy's eye.

So when you start to feel sorry for yourself, lamenting the fact that things just aren't what they used to be, I urge you to consider what a difference a couple of decades can make.

From Left: Jessica, Wendy, John, Dominique and Angela
Me! Utilizing all the tricks: Mac makeup, plastic surgery, hair dye, Photoshop and professional photography by Dominique

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