Monday, September 24, 2012

Adventures in Toe Rings

All good vacations require at least one shopping trip.

Amidst our surfing extravaganza here in Maui, we decided to take one day off to recirculate our money through the economy.

Looking through one of the numerous vacation guides, maps and things to do in Maui brochures, I was drawn to the toe ring advertisement.

Off we went, to Whalers Village in Ka’anapali.  Ka’anapali is a stunning location right on the ocean that was cleared away some thirty years ago to make room for all the Marriott’s, Hilton’s, condominiums, your choice of infinity pools and hotel inspired Luaus.

Kerry and I walked hand in hand through this lovely open-air mall that has every shop your heart could desire, and some, like the Louis Vuitton store that your heart may desire, but your bank account might have other ideas.

Finally, there it was, like a mirage in a desert, the toe ring kiosk!

I eagerly surveyed the toe rings on display.  Beautiful rings, some in silver, some in gold, some with rubies, some with emeralds.  I finally settled on three rings that the attendant advised me was their best seller.

“Sit right here in the throne” commanded the attendant in a husky voice.

“Where are you guys from?  Oh, Laguna Beach!  I’m from there but haven’t lived there in thirty two years”

My feet where resting on a wooden bench, similar to the type where you get your shoes shined.  A bottle containing Windex appeared and was sprayed on my toe in order to facilitate the fitting of the ring.

“Ouch”  That really hurt as the ring had to make it over the beginning of my interestingly shaped toe.

Polite conversation was made about the various landmarks in Laguna Beach.

“So, is the Taco Bell still there?  That’s where I used to go to score my acid.”

I’ve never been able to figure out why complete strangers love filling me in on all the details of their life.  I don’t make this stuff up folks, I just report it.

“Ouch”  As the remaining two rings went on with the help of the Windex.

“Sold!”  was my reply as I was not eager to experience further pain.

I am thrilled with my lovely new jewelry.  Next time you’re anywhere near a toe ring kiosk, check it out.  And next time you’re in Laguna Beach, in the mood for some hallucinogenics, check out the Taco Bell connection.  Just don’t tell them I sent you.

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